Not. Gonna. Do It.

It's a conspiracy, really. A conspiracy of existing parents to fool yet-to-be-parents into thinking that parenthood is a blissful state. We, the conspirators, give some ground ("Oh, there will be copious amounts of diapers to change. Belie' dat!"), if only to establish our credibility with our gullible friends. Then, we sucker-punch 'em with, "Sleep? Well, the first few days are a bit rocky, but you'll be surprised how quickly the little angel catches on. And before you know it, he will be sleeping 4 hours during the day, too!"

Ha.

And if you think about it, this is how we treat our friends. Can you imagine how we treat people we do not necessarily care for?

I confess. The Boy simply refuses to nap. Nope, not one bit. It is as if the mere sight of the back of his own eyelids sears his cones and rods. He is the leading candidate running on the No Rest for the Weary ticket. Read my lips, "Na. Ga. Doit." We drop The Boy at daycare, and they talk about how they don't really push him to get on a sleep schedule. Really? I had not noticed, I mean, when we are watching him on the weekends. Speaking of which -- why is there not daycare service for the weekends? Don't get me wrong, I love that little one. But, dang, kid. When are you gonna sleep?

Oh sure, we have it pretty easy at night. He goes to bed fairly regularly between 7 and 7:30, and usually does not wake up until morning, although sometimes he wakes a bit on the early side (4am) for a bottle, but it's not that bad. Did you see that? Right there? It's AAAAALLL relative, you see. It's all relative to the sleep deprivation you remember from the first couple of months. And you remember.

And there you go. God's built-in birth control.