How to Mess up a Child, or How I Spent 100G's on Therapy

A friend called tonight to let me know that his wife is expecting. during the conversation, he commented, "Well, I'm also looking forward to whatever advice you can offer."

The only response I could come up with was something like, "How messed up do you want your child to be?" I was only half joking. I poop you not, I am making this daddy business up as I go along. Happily, I might add, but totally by the seat of mein underwasche.

Generally speaking, for the first couple of months, the playbook is well established. You read a couple of books and speak to friends for guidance (hey, sounds familiar), but really sleep deprivation soon becomes the driving force. All other influencing factors become noise to the slumber lust's signal. So, short of dropping a child on its head, it seems to me there is precious little you can do to warp the child at such a tender young age. Just remember to give lots of love.

I guess the only other tidbit that sticks with me is to always remember that as a parent, you will be constantly trading one set of problems for another. Hey, it keeps you fresh.